j4sonm FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

Male
from Hoosac Tunnel, MA

  • Activity

    • Shelter

      7 months ago

      j4sonm

      Shelter fucked me.Shelter fucked me with feels. It didn"t feel nice, and it was very rude about it. It didn't even buy me dinner first. I don't know how to life any more (no thats not a typo) Everything about it is gorgeous and the story hit my soul one-punch man style.

    • Doors - For Monty

      1 year ago

      j4sonm

      If you knew where the path ahead of you led, would you still travel it?


      You stand in a white room: on your left is a black door, from behind it cries of pain and screams of anguish echo in the distance. On your right lies a sturdy alabaster door. Unlike the one on your left you couldn’t hear a thing come from behind it, not the faintest of whispers sounded from behind the barrier. “Choose” comes a voice, not from behind either of the twin doors but rather from behind you. You look back at me with an expression that states you are not sure whether to trust me or not, which is a justifiable feeling. I return your gaze with one of my own, looking at you expectantly. “Choose” I say again, a little more forcefully this time.”I’m just having a hard time processing this” you say back to me. I remain silent as you continue “It’s pretty clear you know something I don’t but you still seem fairly impartial to the situation””Well there are certain rules with situations like these, I mean, I absolutly hate rules but even I follow this particular set”. You look at me again like I’m hiding something, which in all fairness, is again a reasonable assumption. You turn back and pause for a moment before heading towards the door on the left. As you begin to reach for the handle, I ask one last question, a question that ever since we began playing this little game has been burning inside me and finally burned a hole through me and escaped. “Why?””Hmmm?” you turn back one last time and give me a quizzical look. “Why?” I ask again, louder this time. You have an affinity for the other door and I feel as though you know something about that door I should probably know. so”. NO! cutting you off from finishing your answer I continue. “Why do you keep leaving me? why do you have to go?”... For the first time, for however long this game had gone on you looked at me. You looked at me and saw me for the first time. You knelt down and as gently as you imagined you might grasped my shoulder. That’s all I needed to comprehend your answer, to finally see into that beautiful mind of yours. You know what awaits you behind that alabaster door, and if you stepped through it, none of this would have happened. If you changed than the everything would change. I wouldn’t be here right now, I wouldn’t have met you in this reality. because if you went through the alabaster door of uncertainty I would be nowhere as close to him as I became. That boy visiting Austin Would have never worked so hard as he did if you never left us. In the end what happened was not what I wanted, but I needed it to. So I let you go again, as I had begrudgingly done so all those times I tried to change you before. As you stepped through the door I uttered the two words I never thought I would say. “goodbye”.”Did you say something?” you ask moments before departing. “No just…. See you later”. You give me one last look, littered with disbelief, and rightfully so. “Ok then… Well goodbye then” and you stepped through the door. Almost instinctively I took a step in the doors direction, reaching for the now vacant space you were standing in, before thinking twice and pulling my hand back.In all the short time I had known you not once had you come off as shelfish or greedy. Constantly putting others before yourself and far too humble for your own good. As I closed my eyes and the world of doors dissolved around me, I made a vain wish. That once, just once you would do something for yourself. I guess I’ll just have to take it up with you when I get to meet you for real. And this time, maybe, just maybe I’ll get to stay with you.


      Goodbye Monty

    • Buff Buddies week one (procrastinators edition)

      1 year ago

      j4sonm

      Week one

      After reviewing the workouts of Meg, Josh, and Zach, I decided to base my workout plan after Josh’s plan. Since we are roughly of the same build it made sense to follow his workout more closely. This week I aimed to run at least eight miles as well as try to cut back on sweets and eat lighter healthier meals more often. While I am not going to outright go no a diet give up the food I normally eat, I am just going to try to eat less of it. I am also going to follow his other workout plans such as the upper body workouts and such. I didn’t fully understand a few of the exercises he described in the journal so I switched them out for pull ups and such.

      While I came nowhere close to the goal I set for eight (I ran roughly five) it is a huge jump from how much I usually travel by foot in a week (roughly one mile maybe). While I ate somewhat healthier this week I basically threw it away after eating a small pizza. To be fair I ate over the course of a few days whereas I usually eat it all in one sitting so there’s that. But still next week I will try to resist the sweet call of unhealthy food and Run the full eight miles. I am less worried about the running and workout part cuz I live in the middle of butt-f*ck nowhere in a mountainous town so I have more opportunity to have more rigorous workouts than others.

      Goals for week 2: run the full eight miles at least and eat less unhealthy food.

    • 12 Days

      1 year ago

      j4sonm

      I’m not afraid of dying, I’m already living in hell.

      This reasoning would run through my head for years, whether it be going home, waking up each morning or even having to walk past the people who called themselves my parents. I couldn’t tell you how many times I considered just ending it all. It wouldn’t be that difficult. The moron who thought of himself my father was an avid hunter and I even knew where he kept the key to his gun safe. It would be a simple matter of opening the door selecting the tool for the job, and the brief taste of metal would allow me to go to sleep without having to wake up again. For Eight years this is how I would think. Now I have by no means had a terrible life. I had clothes to wear, food and water, and a roof over my head, but the one thing i never had was love or approval. Back when getting those from the people who called themselves my parents meant something to me, I could never receive them no matter how hard I tried. It also didn’t help that I was the problem child with hair trigger emotional issues where the simplest and not at all ill intentioned comments could lead to an outburst of tears or cries of rage. My grades were mediocre and after trying a plethora of different sports, I decided that sports were not something I enjoyed, much to the dismay of my so called father. I’m not outgoing or athletic like my sister my sister who excelled at any and every sport she looks at, and can also get along with pretty much everyone she meets. No. I was the anti-social kid who sat in the back of the room rarely speaking, and could only score B’s and C’s on tests. I liked to think that I was jaded beyond my years, and I was certainly much more clever than anyone else in my so called family. I knew the world was cruel and that at most I was an insignificant speck of dust on the infinite fabric of reality. I was never so naive to believe that everyone could have a happy ending.

      The year Is 2013, cue Rooster Teeth and more importantly, you. Never before had I heard of the company or you, which makes me feel quite foolish now. Never before had I seen such a large group of idiots and misfits who could make me laugh so genuinely. Never before have I seen such beautiful creativity or incredible in depth storytelling and character development. Never before had I found such a good reason to live. Within two weeks I had finished what was out on YouTube of Red vs. Blue from the Blood Gulch chronicles to half way through the first season of the Chorus trilogy. In another day I had watched what was out of RWBY roughly three times in its entirety. I decided Rooster Teeth is where I belong, that I would get there no matter what. After all, I owe you my life.

      Skip forward two years it’s February 29th 2015 and I’m preparing to work my shift at the local ski resort. Wondering when I should punch in, i glance at the clock to find I’m ten minutes ahead of schedule. I decided to look through my IFunny subscriptions. As I’m scrolling through my phone I see a post that leaves me speechless. Get well Monty. As quickly as I could manage, I switched over to the Rooster Teeth twitter to see if i could find an explanation for the post. It was then that I saw the article. Monty is sick… Monty is sick…. Monty…..how? But despite all my worrying and the inner turmoil currently taking place I still had a job to do.”He’ll get better. He has to. I won’t let him go”. Ultimately I didn’t dwell on it for too long, after all, RWBY Volume 3 is supposed to be in production and I had already made preparations to go to RTX specifically to meet you. There was no way you’d leave us and I left it at that.

      For the first time in my life I allowed myself to believe that this world would be merciful.



      Five days later I find out you lost. That your check up put you to sleep and you didn’t wake up.

      I had been naive and I had paid for it. You, my hero my savior had left me.There would be no meeting you at RTX. Whatever chance of me working on RWBY with you was diminished. Never would I be able to show you what I had been working on and you say I’ve done well. My world, like so many others that day, crumbled and burned.

      That night as I wept, the sky itself cried it’s frozen tears.

      I started to regress. With any chance of meeting you in this life was gone, so I would just have to try in the next. Then I thought of how stupid that was, of how stupid you’d think I was. I mean imagine, me a seventeen year old boy who hasn’t accomplished a millionth of what I’d said I’d do, came to you in an irreversible state saying I’d given everything up just to see you. Thinking of what you would say scared me more than anything.

      RTX 2015. I never got to meet you, the closest I came to you was visiting your Memorial booth. The waves of sorrow hit me like a train and after milliseconds I found myself nearly sobbing. But I stayed strong… and I’ll keep staying strong, for you. $1400. that’s roughly how much it cost to go to RTX. $900 for the hotel, $90 for a badge, $30 for a shuttle and the rest went to my airline tickets. As an impulsive teenage boy with many interests I couldn’t tell you how much merch I could have bought with that much money. But I can tell you that in the seventeen years I’ve been alive, those three days are the best memories of my entire life. That event was the first official time I had cosplayed. Before then I had never believed in fate, but if fate is not what made me go as one of your characters with two weapons so I could leave one at your shrine, I don’t know what did. It seemed fitting since you’re also the one who inspired me to cosplay as well, that I leave a piece of my first costume there. That I leave a piece of me with you.

      And now after what feels like a matter of days is in actuality two months since I left Austin. My eighteenth birthday is right around the corner and I’m working hard towards my goal of being with you even if you’re not there. I’ll work hard to become someone you would be proud to work with. Every day I struggle to be as skilled as you, to reach the level you are on. If one day I have to surpass you to end up where I belong I’ll do it. I’ll learn more and become better, because thats what you would have done.

      12 days. Just 12 left at the time I’m writing this on October 12th until we can go back. Until the day we can go back to the world of hunters and huntresses, where everything is also a gun. Only 12 days left until I can be with you again if only in spirit. As I begin to close this letter to you I feel as though I’ve shed enough tears. Not only for you but for J.J. and Kara. For Ray and for Arryn. In all of my seventeen years of life I’ve cried for a total of five living breathing human beings. I’ve only felt a great enough attachment to five people who have given me reason to sympathize with them. I wish it would stop at five but in my heart I know it won’t. And maybe one day when I finally get to meet you, someone will write for me like I am doing for you now. In the nine months you’ve been gone, not once have I paired your name with death, die or dead. Maybe I’m just being stubborn, but I’m still not ready to say goodbye yet. After all, If you never say goodbye, then you’re never really gone… You’re just… not here right now…

      I miss you Monty…

      I can’t wait until 12 days are up

      - Jason

    • GTA Online crew wanted(PS4)

      in Forums > GTA Online crew wanted(PS4) | Follow this topic

      j4sonm

      I am an avid gamer. To put things bluntly I may have a problem. Ill play pretty much any game thrown at me and be able to simultaneously enjoy and critique it. However that has not been enough for me lately. Gaming alone has started to seem lackluster for me, and as a result I've turned to trophy collecting. Now as we all (probably) know, since the Heists update there have been new trophies/achievements added to GTA Online. My issue here is almost everybody I know has an Xbox rather than a PlayStation, so as a result, I have not been able to get trophies such as the loyalty or mastermind trophies. What I'm asking is if there are any people out there who also have not gotten these trophies and would like to, feel free to join me. Heck, even if you have gotten them but you just want to do the heists again thats cool too. If you're interested my username is therazer00 (exactly like that) and my character in GTA O is level 151. Honestly I'd prefer if you decide to join me your character is level 30 or higher but I'm flexible. Beggers can't be choosers after all. Hope to see you out there.

      2 replies

  • Comments (1)

    • DavidtheWavid FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      11 months ago

      Nice hustle, Fox

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