Today I told a girl I've had a crush on for the past 3 months that she should talk to the guy she's been seeing about getting more serious and I can't decide if what I did was a good thing or not.
She and I are good friends, and a care about her, she is usually really confident but when things get to her she can really break down and I've always tried to be there for her, I've gone through similar things myself. I realized I had a crush on her a few months back but she was seeing this guy at the time, so I just carried on the same as always, she normally go through guys quickly. But as time wore on I started think about her more and more, she and this guy fought a couple times and I tried to be there for her, probably selfishly hoping it would end and I would be there for her, because things totally work like that...
Anyway, they kept getting back together and they've been good for a while, we were hanging out recently, big group of us at her apartment. We hung out for the day, talking shite, watching TV, playing football and then we had this big meal. Afterwards a bunch of us decided to go to the pool to relax before we headed home, we finish up and head back up to pick up our bags and say goodbye to the rest of the group. When I walk in they're all watching a movie and I see them sitting on the couch kinda cuddled up together and he says something that makes her laugh, in that way you do when you really properly happy, and I realize she really likes him, more than she probably realizes herself and this isn't going away any time soon.
Thing is he's moving away for work next week and she's really sad, she teared up when my he said goodbye to our friend who was going on holiday and won't see him. We were talking about it today, since yesterday was Valentine's day. He didn't do anything because there still not together officially and they got in another fight because he's leaving but now she's going to a wedding with him, so upside I guess. We were talking and she said she wasn't sure what's happening with them and I told her that she should talk to him about it because from my perspective, they were a couple just neither of them wanted to say it.
Originally I was glad I said it because I knew she was happy with him, but as the day wore on I started to get annoyed because it's totally against what I want. I care about her so much that I just want her to be happy but that selfish part of me which I can never seem to act on wants it to end so I can have a chance. It makes no sense!
Now I'm just sitting here annoyed/angry at myself because I never got together the courage to tell her because I'm so afraid of losing her as a friend.
Am I wrong to want her to be with me? I still want her to be happy but it's hard when I see them together and I know I don't have any chance.