Yeah, skimmed right past that. That's bananas.
Also girl when will you review one of my characters tbh?
#33574190 - 3 months ago
Name: Roza Frammento
Affiliations: Freelance mercenary, former specialist of Mistral’s military
Appearance: Roza strikes an imposing image, standing at around 6”4 with a noticeably lean figure and a gruff, dishevelled look to him. His sharp eyes are a piercing, icy shade of blue, boldly juxtaposed against the pale tone of the man's skin, and framed by the mop of spiky, unkept hair that falls to man's neck - silver, with red streaks that run down to his fringe, and similar highlights on the hair near the back of his neck. The mercenary dons a purposefully atypical attire, despite his more than generous wealth and previous social class. Scornful of Mistral’s society, Roza has abandoned their fashion and culture in favour of a much simpler outfit: a red and black checkered shirt, with black pants and a large, segmented plate of armour that runs down to just above the man's elbow from his right shoulder. Roza's two weapons rest in holsters on the sides of his legs.
Personality: Roza is a lone wolf through and through. He lives alone, works alone, and thinks alone, always convinced that whatever path he's chosen to take is the only one right for him. The man actively rejects the influence of others out of an inherent desire to control his own life and make his own decisions, often coming across as rebellious or fractious. He has no desire to fit into some kind of hierarchy, having long since abandoned the one he was born into, and does not entertain the idea of having superiors. This all stems from the death of his former partner, the inciting event that lead to Roza's departure from the military, something which he directly blames on his superiors’ refusal to take action, and their refusal to allow him to do so. Ever since then, the man has refused to let others decide what he can and can't do.
On the surface, this mindset has given birth to a certain arrogance, an outward cockiness that both stems from a feeling of regaining control and served as a coping method for Roza, a desperate attempt to reintroduce some fun and positivity into the mercenary’s life. He projects a gruff, confident exterior, and doesn't shy away from the occasional verbal spar. To many, Roza is defined by his apparent smugness, something which shows in his work ethics: Roza is far from ashamed of his constant advertisement, and his prices definitely lean towards the more costly side of things. That might be because Roza is more than willing to tackle some of the shadier jobs Remnant has to offer, walking the fine line between mercenary and criminal on several occasions. He's definitely partaken in his fair share of robberies and vandalism.
But Roza isn't a murderer, and for all his willingness to do some dirty work every now and then, the man is still driven primarily by his morals, flexible as those may be. He'll happily take any jobs that put him face to face with some of the world's more questionable figures or companies (*cough*SDC*cough*), but he'll never attack organisations which he supports or sympathises with, regardless of what people might pay him. And yet, despite his obvious moral compass, Roza also displays a clear hatred for vigilantes and heroicism. A bit of hypocrisy, on his part. He's driven by a desire to live life by his rules and ideals, yet outwardly shuns the idea of going so far to act on them. Rather than try to change a world he disagrees with, Roza opts to just live in his own world.
That last part is also because of his partner's death. Roza heard about how he died during the destruction of Kuroyuri, fighting to protect the civilians rather than escaping. Torn apart by the knowledge that the man could have survived had he chosen to, Roza grew to view heroic self-sacrifice as naive, pointless and foolish.
Weapons: Petalo Ferro - A pair of chainsaw tonfas. The Petalo Ferro are silver, with a metal casing covering the halves of the saws that would normally run parallel to the forearms, preventing any messy accidents. The saws themselves are activated by a single button on the handle of each tonfa, and that very same button can de-activate them.
Semblance: Roza’s Semblance, when activated, forms a large, visible bubble around him. Dark-red and spherical, the bubble has a diameter of two meters, with Roza as it's centre at all times. The Aura bubble slows objects that enter it or are within it, depending on the speed with which those objects are moving. The faster they move, the more force is exerted on them, to the point that most projectiles are simply stopped in mid-air, and anybody making any sudden movements will be brought to a halt. This Semblance is virtually impossible to simply “break” through, though it won't stop things like heat from passing through. Takes an incredible amount of Aura to sustain, to the point that Roza can rarely keep it up for more than five seconds without over-exerting himself.
Fighting Style: Roza is an expert in one-on-one combat, though he somewhat struggles against a large group of competent opponents. Physically, he's still in his prime, with a body simultaneously built for speed, durability and strength. He's fast enough to dodge blows and outmanoeuvre foes, sturdy enough to take a few hits and keep fighting, and strong enough to punch a hole through most defences.
Roza is a skilled martial artist, and a great close-ranged fighter, able to switch between offensive and defensive styles if need be, largely due to the versatility of the Petalo Ferro. If faced against a relentless attacker, Roza can use his weapons to hold his own, waiting for the right time to counter-attack, often using his Semblance to bring his opponent to a sudden halt when it's time to launch a decisive blow. Alternatively, if pitted against a more defensive fighter, Roza is capable of using the deadly power of his chainsaw tonfas to force his enemy into a corner, with his Semblance used to prevent sudden escape this time.
Further supplementing his close-quarters ability is Roza’s knowledge and mastery of several different locks and takedowns involving his tonfas, which in practice allows him to subdue and restrain opponents easily. However, he struggles against ranged foes, due to his own inherent lack of long-ranged capabilities. This includes Dust Casters.
History: Born into Mistral's high class, Roza spent his earlier years bathing in the culture and luxuries of the Eastern kingdom. The boy grew to admire everything about the land he lived in, but above all else, he admired the warriors that fought to defend it. Drawn to action by his sheer respect for the soldiers of Mistral, as well as his family's already close ties to the Kingdom's military, young Roza soon found himself enrolled in the most prestigious combat schools in Mistral. Years of education and combat training would forge him into a fine soldier, but never at the cost of his naivety. While he grew older and stronger, and his maturity certainly fell in line with what was expected of him, Roza never lost that inner child that desired to fight and to defend, the warrior inside of him that was filled with pride in his abilities and accomplishments. Those feelings stuck with him even when he eventually joined Mistral's military, enlisted as a specialist under the command and supervision of a more experienced soldier.
Roza's time in the military helped build some of the core aspects of his character. But it also took a lot away from him. The young man’s missions finally allowed him to venture much farther out into the kingdom of Anima than ever before, an opportunity that lead to him being stripped of all his previous naivety. Anima was a wild, savage continent, and the more he saw of it, the more often he came across shattered lives and ruined homes, the more his view on the world changed. His superior and mentor reinforced this. He never failed to warn Roza of how he should never get ahead of himself, and he would always tell him that what they did, they did out of necessity more than pride. Yet, it was this sense of necessity, and their subsequent dependence on each other, that allowed the pair of specialists to grow closer.
Roza found a mentor, a guide and a trusted friend, and in return, he offered that friend his devotion, loyalty, respect and good will. In what Roza was beginning to realise was a fairly thankless job, such things were irreplaceable. And as this friendship grew ever stronger, Roza was pulled further and further away from the world he'd been brought into; the frivolous life of wealth, theatre, fashion and music all seemed so distant and dreamlike compared to the gritty realism of the military, of Anima itself. But that realism meant so much more to him. The world of Mistral's upper class was one that Roza quickly grew to dislike. But that was fine, such a world was long gone now. Roza was content.
And then Kuroyuri was attacked.
The man had heard of such attacks several times before, had watched them unfold with his own eyes throughout his time in the military. It was probably why he'd been so nervous when his partner had told him that he'd be visiting family over in the small, rural village. He'd written it off as paranoia, but the nights prior to the attack were sleepless. All that worry and creeping dread came crashing down on his soul when he heard the news, mere hours after the fact. The village had managed to get word to Mistral of the attack, sending distress signals and cries for help, but when Roza took it up with his superiors, they wrote the possibility of a rescue mission off as suicide. Too many Grimm had amassed in the village, and it would be too far away to reach them in time. Or perhaps sending soldiers there and back might attract the dreaded creatures to the city itself.
There was nothing they could do. Nothing Roza could do.
At first, the man blamed himself. Who else could he blame? He should have stopped his partner from leaving, should home to help him regardless of what his superiors said. But blaming himself proved to be too painful for the already broken man. So he set his sights on the military. On his leaders. They should have sent something. Anything! But they didn't care. With sheer scorn in his heart, Roza abandoned the military, too furious to ever entertain the idea of following orders ever again. No, he would have to do things his way. He became a mercenary for hire, settling into Mistral's infamous underworld and beginning his brand new career as a man who would never follow orders. Orders got people killed.
Figured I'd re-posted this guy to add him to the list, too.
Angelus987 Archangel of Prowess
#33574305 - 3 months ago
Thank you. I ask because your skill in creating believable and interesting personalities is fantastic.
I haven't finished her yet, but I'm reworking the least developed and shallow character on team WOLF, Falca Kiera.
Falca is a character who likes to project an image of strength, which she does very successfully. But it's a mask that she puts on to mask her various insecurities, like the death of her parents, and to a lesser extent, her left eye. (Generic I know, but st least they weren't killed by Grimm or the White Fang.)
She takes to hiding behind the mask literally as well. She has a large collection of Grimm esque masks that she made herself, an old Kriegan tradition. Each times she kills a new type of Grimm, she makes a new one.
I wanted to ask if you had any advice on this character trope, if there's any tips you can give that could help me ground her and make her feel believable and real.
Sorry if I'm not being specific enough. XD
#33574322 - 3 months ago
Thanks so much for this advice :3
I've only ever created one RWBY character before, but I kinda scrapped that one.
I feel like the bio I used wasn't really enough to explain her, and I'm most definitely going to tweak her personality.
I really like your new design, especially the jacket, in my mind it just fits.
It also seems I did a really bad job of explaining her, so I'll try that again too.
#33574345 - 3 months ago
Gotcha. So, the idea is that characters are defined by the combination of their core features and nuances. Ruby wouldn't be Ruby if she wasn't naive, hopeful and energetic, but she likewise wouldn't be Ruby if she wasn't a super huge weapon's nerd that came up with cooky battle strategies and did dumb crap with Zwei.
You've got a good core concept. The idea of a character hiding her weaknesses and insecurities beneath a mask. Now, since these characters actively work to project a specific image of themselves, you can't just add any random quirk that might conflict with their character. The compromise, then, is that you have the façade slip. It doesn't have to be anything too grand or apparent, perhaps there's a specific type of Grimm she fears, or perhaps there's something that makes her particularly emotional, despite her attempts to be tough. The idea is that the mask doesn't break, it just consistently let's emotions leak through at certain points.
This is to help individualise your character, and show a bit of who they are beneath the mask. As an example, I once had a small, irrelevant character called Braith. Due to the death of one of her team mates in the past, for which she blamed herself as team leader, the Huntress grew to force professionalism and perfection in herself, wearing a mask to hide emotional weakness as she worked to rid herself of physical weakness. However, she would still at times lose herself in combat, the nostalgic memories of her youth briefly bringing her competitive and lively nature to life.
Another important thing in characters that people should definitely include more often is self-perception. Is your character aware of their own traits and what they mean to the world? In your case, you want to focus on how your character reacts to breaking her mask, how she feels about having to wear a mask in front of others, that sort of thing. Going back to Braith as an example, because of how critical she became of herself, and because she was often reminded that it'd been her naivety and hotheadedness that had gotten her team mate killed in the first place, she mentally beats the shit out of herself whenever she lets silly things like excitement slip out during battle, always reminding herself of her biggest failure.
Another angle to potentially explore I'd to have the character willingly soften up at certain points. Maybe there's a certain person she's totally genuine with? Or maybe something that relaxes her and makes her drop her facade?
#33574346 - 3 months ago
Hey there everyone, this is the third time I'm posting this, please don't ignore it. Would you be so kind as to review and give constructed feedback on this OC of mine?
Jaeroz Haldora (and Jin Haldora)
Jaeroz (an anagram for Jezoar, a name that means Clear, White)
Jin (a self made variation of yin, the dark side of the taijitu (the yin yang circular symbol))
Influence of creation: Taoism, the taijitu represents how the Yin and Yang, even though being opposite, can also be complementary. There cannot be good without evil, nor light without darkness, nor peace without war.
Backstory: Jae‘s mother ran away when he was 2. He was raised by his father until he was taken away, along with other hundred children around remnant, for Atlesian experiment L09J17T99T, to study the human soul in depth. The experiment caused his soul to shatter into two halves, each knowing of the other’s existence.
The two fragments have their own personality, and aura (colors black and white), and they are almost opposites. One is the goodness of his heart, the other is his sadistic and violent tendencies. When Ironwood rose into the council and learned of this experiment, he shut it down immediately for it’s immoral ways and sent every surviving child home with their parents. The good half kept his name (Jaeroz), while the dark half took on the name Jin. They both returned to their father, who took them in a small bit reluctant, but never stopped loving them as before.
They work together as one, and together have decided to become a huntsman, they just felt they were meant to do so. Jaeroz moved to Vale with his friend Cerise Goupil to attend Beacon Academy, where they became part of team JNCL, along with Itzel Neorah, and Yaxha Rocio Lamia.
Jae and Jin can sometimes take full control over the body, however they only use this in extreme occasions, because the other blacks out completely.
Weapon: Erail 19. It consists of a blade (that can be discreetly extended or retracted from a mechanism worn on the user’s wrist), embedded brass knuckles, a rope launcher, and a dust compartment, which can make the rope launcher a weapon as well (lightning dust can make it a taser, while other dusts can cause an explosion upon contact), all on his wrist (or should I say wrists, since he has one for each hand). The extended blade can also open out into a three pronged fork, causing more damage. The "hooks" of the rope launcher can also be detached and used as projectiles as well. Erail is basque for assassinated and 19 is for the 19th century (the time era for the weapons of influence).
Appearance: Jaeroz is about 5’ 08” and he’s slim, weighing about 160 lbs. He wears a black trench coat, a kind of cream t-shirt (yeah, I do not know what color that is), gray pants, black boots, his black Erail 19, and a belt to store extra dust. Whenever Jin is in control, or when he talks, the sclera of his eyes turn black.
Symbol: A taijitu, with the yang (white side) slightly taking over the yin (black side), as if it were a grimm mask
Affiliation: He is the leader of team JNCL (jonquil, like the flower) at Beacon Academy.
Semblances: Each soul fragment has it’s own aura and therefore, in theory, it’s own semblance.
Jae possesses Refracted Dispersion, which is similar to Flynt Coal’s Killer Quartet, but the doppelgangers move freely and it reduces their remaining aura depending on the amount of clones made. One clone drops to half, two clones gives you a third of it.
Jin hasn’t unlocked his semblance, nor does it seem like he’ll do it anytime soon. However, due to his connection to Jae, he can use the same semblance.
Identity: Jaeroz and Jin are considerate overall, they worry about others and want to help. Even though Jin is the psychotic wild card, he has feelings too. This makes them a bit of an antihero. They’re crazy, but they don’t want to watch the world burn and suffer (despite joking about it from time to time). This is the guy who’ll hold the door and wait for everyone to pass, well at least Jae’s that guy. Jin just wants to get the whole day over with, making him arrive early at times to class. If they were at Beacon during the Jaunedice episode, he would have went up and protected Velvet, and after notify the bullies for added security. They aren’t that social per se. You could see them like Jaune at the beginning of the show, they have no idea of what they’re doing. Socially awkward. This is the type of guy who won’t go to prom because he’ll have to pay to get in and get bored, something he could have done for free at home. When in class, he’s more open, the crazy and silly class clown that even the teacher likes, as long as he doesn’t go overboard. They socialize easier through a medium, like class, a school project, etc. They both also share an interest in the past and world culture, they are fascinated by the feats of history, despite barely understanding Oobleck’s ways of explaining them. When fighting a new grimm or other opponent, Jaeroz studies the enemy’s movements and searches for weak points, openings, and patterns. Then Jin goes for the killing blow. Despite being dominant in close range combat, as observed by the weapon of choice, Erail 19 is also a form of transport and has a long range feature, also mentioned in weapon section. If you were to see them as completely separate entities, Jaeroz would make it quick and simple, and if it were another person he’d just neutralize him. Jin on the other hand is basically Deadpool, with no remorse for killing whatsoever, but he does like to torture his opponents as well. Like I said, a total nutjob. These two can be lazy at times, especially when working on something they don’t have much interest in, or when there’s a lot of pressure. Jae can at times be interested in reading, or any other hobby, while Jin is… well, yeah, he’s an agent of chaos. Which is why they decided that Jaeroz should stay in control most of the time.
Angelus987 Archangel of Prowess
#33574364 - 3 months ago
Wow, and this is why I was glad I asked you for personality advice.
As to how she views the mask, she feels it is a necessity. She feels that if she takes it off, then she will be preyed upon. And at the start of the story I am eventually going to write, she initially has no incentive to take the mask off. She's one of the strongest students in the year, on par with Yang and Pyrrha. She's feared and respected, so again, there's no incentive to take the mask off.
In terms of openness, she starts to open up to her teammates, as she learns that each of them have also gone through painful pasts.
I'll use the example of her partner Olive. Olive and her share a lot in common. Olive is also an orphan, however she doesn't even know who her parents were. Olive is also quite strong willed. But although she's shy and slightly insecure around people, she doesn't hide it, which perplexes Falca.
The only person she's fully and genuinely open with would be her Grandfather Apisi. He's her only remaining family and raised her after her parents died.
#33574369 - 3 months ago
I don't suppose anyone here could give me some advice on non-lethal poisons, could they? I'm reworking an old OC I mentioned a few pages back, Venna Toxin (who might end up with her last name being changed because I feel it might be too on the nose), and as her name implies, her shtick is all things poisoned themed. I wanted her weapon to be a set of duel wielded dagger that change into scissors by splitting down the middle, with an additional function of a hidden needle that can extend from the center. The needle is coated in a poison that is both fast acting and makes the opponent sluggish, but a chemist I am not, so I don't know what kind of poison or toxin compound would have such an effect upon being injected. I asked this same question a LONG while back when I was first making this weapon, but idiot me forgot to write down any of the answers I was given. Any chance someone can offer some advice?
#33574374 - 3 months ago
That's a nice touch. Her backstory and insecurities clash with her skill and talent, so she feels an unnecessary pressure to be tough and remain strong. Because of that special pressure, she can't relate to people who are genuine about themselves and accepting of their flaws, which might cause her to emotionally distance herself, even if on the surface she might seem decently outgoing. She can't form proper connections with anybody. In order to break out of this shell, then, she needs to understand how others accept their flaws and through them learn to accept the real her.
Angelus987 Archangel of Prowess
#33574382 - 3 months ago
That's a very good perspective actually. And maybe to star forming proper relations, it's up to others at first to take the first step.
Like Lorin, easily the team's most outgoing member, and who tries to make light of situations where sometimes she gets a little too intense.
Lorin: Damn Falcs, did that Grimm look at you funny?
Falca: Rule 16...
Lorin: Yeah, yeah make sure they're dead.
Maybe a bit morbid, but the dynamic of those two is that over time, when she starts getting used to working in the team, she starts to banter back.
Lorin: Hey Falcs, did you read the report? Someone thinks I'm special!
Falca: Congrats Lorin, that makes two of you now.
jVictor For Science
#33574403 - 3 months ago
A muscle relaxant or sedative is what you're looking for. One of my go-tos is Tetrodotoxin (the same toxin Thule uses to paralyze the Beacon staff), which is produced by various animals. In small enough doses, it prevents the nervous system from sending signals to your muscles, causing them to become non-responsive. In large enough doses (which isn't that much) it also paralyzes the diaphragm, which you need to breath, thus causing death by suffocation. It can also cause siezures and a litany of other very unpleasant symptoms like convulsions and arrhythmia. The only real cure in these cases is to put the victim on life support until their body gets rid of the toxin naturally.
Angelus987 Archangel of Prowess
#33574406 - 3 months ago
Dang it, my deception has been uncovered!
But yes, I do shamefully admit that I did base the banter off of those two. I'm just not too good at coming up with humerous dialogue. XD
And yes, it was a great game, just too bad they never did Imperial Commando, or elaborate on Sev... Sniff...
#33574411 - 3 months ago
That sounds like it could work! Assuming she only uses a very small dose just to make enemies sluggish. Venna wants her opponents to struggle, but to not be such an easy target that there's no fight. She's got one of those twisted senses of humor where she enjoys seeing her target suffer for as long as possible, and making it hard for them to move is a method that allows her to take her time messing with them.
#33574412 - 3 months ago
Damn, a D&D game based on rwby would be great, but i only know little about it. im glad roll20 is a thing-- im already in a session, thought it was for dorks until a good friend told me to join her. its nice as heck, i can talk to a super god for advice once, must funny thing that happened to me yet. im a damn druid too