Burnie Wasn't Invited - #30

Always Open: Burnie Wasn't Invited - #30

Join Barbara Dunkelman, Burnie Burns, Bethany Feinstein, and Mariel Salcedo as they discuss a dreamer's confessional, what they'd do if they were invisible, and a user-submitted question about smoking! This episode is sponsored by Boll and Branch (http://bit.ly/2qasJo9) and Lyft (http://lft.to/2k09gCG)

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Comments (121)

  • Cassner FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Hail Hydra

    7 hours ago

    I forget where to submit shots but I have a good one, Vanilla Vodka, Pineapple Juice, and Grenadine Its called Upside Down Pineapple Cake or just Upside Down. It got to the point I was making this as a cocktail for myself

  • Otherbuttons FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 day ago

    Jon, Ryan, Miles, & Lawrence all have that father-y feel to them; whether it be tall with glasses, or that sort of longer-haired stallion look, I've seen that in people's dads before. And Ryan's an actual dad and has that personality to him. So I can kinda get where that 'daddy issues' feeling may be coming from.


    just uh, observations from someone who knows a little too much about dad-sorts of people/characters...

  • LVH_omega FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    2 days ago

    As a person who has smoked, quit, and started again i think the best way to help someone who does is to be supportive no matter if someone wants to quit smoking or doesn't. We all know the consequences of smoking, and telling someone who does that it is disgusting or the worst thing they can do to their body doesn't help it just makes them feel like shit for letting the people they care about down and the thought of quitting becomes this source of anxiety of failure and further disappointment with stopping something that makes them less anxious. The looks of disgust and contempt people who smoke get do get noticed and just compound feelings of isolation. I guess what i am trying to say is have more empathy for people because usually there are more then one reason people smoke and we can never really understand a persons situation.

  • sofa420 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    2 days ago

    Drinking out of a dip cup will scar you for life, I drank out of a coke can that was filled with spit... always do the smell check now. And I never feel safe at work.

  • Lloyd_Edgar FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Lloyd Edgar

    3 days ago

    I can vouch for the effectiveness of being held accountable. I started a YouTube series about my weightloss and I never would have gotten as far as I have if it weren't for it. Here it is if anyone is interested! I've a long way to go yet, but I'm still motivated. If you're doing something big, tell people. Believe it or not, the people in your life care about you, and will support your decisions.

  • zwingo FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    I'm a daily pot smoker, and what you guys discussed on this episode concerning alcohol and pot was straight to the point of one of my biggest pet peeves. Before I make my little rant, I wanted to note that I live in a state that will have legal weed at the end of the year, and I am a legal medicinal patient at this time. 


    So I began talking to family about smoking pot around a year ago. I'm the only American in a family of northern English. All of my family members drink daily. But when they found out that I was smoking to be able to sleep more then three nights a week, suddenly they cared about health and addiction. It was annoying as all hell. A room full of people, out of shape and drinking their fourth beer of the night telling me to change up my lifestyle. 


    The argument that weed should be illegal is a pile of absolute horse shit unless you also argue to go back to no booze, no painkillers, and no tobacco. If you want to make a drug Illegal that has been shown to be less harmful then those that are legal, and claim its for public safety, you are an idiot. At this point the only real reason to keep the war on drugs is to keep locking up black kids who had a couple of grams. 

    Hypocrites are all over the place for weed, and It's the most annoying shit in the world.They quote videos made 40 years ago under the Reagan administration when they wanted to start this racist little drug war, and they act like those videos had legitimate facts behind them. "Little Johnny got a hold of one of those reefer cigarettes, and now he has erectile dysfunction and aids!" I mean for fucks sake, I live in a town almost completely populated by stoners. We got gutter punks, old school dead heads, rich people who made hundreds of millions up in silicon valley, teenagers smoking bum shit. 


    Hell, Last week I held the door for a 98 year old woman on her way in to the dispensary for her first time. I know that because when she got to the counter and put her card on the table she giggled wildly and said "I'm 98 and today I'll try some pot please!" causing the waiting room to burst out laughing with her. I waited in the waiting room with her for about 15 minutes because they were pretty busty. We were all talking and listening to her. Turned out she had been diagnosed with cancer, and her two daughters who had brought her in had convinced her to give it a go. She was so damn excited, and kept asking things like "And what is a joint?" Followed by giddy laughter at the answer.


    Point of the story: It's time to move on. The idea of pot being taboo is about as stupid as the concept of owning an ice cream cone being taboo. I cant wait for the point, my guess being five years from now, where Americans are past this and its just a part of life. No one questions it or whispers about getting a drink after work, but me and my buddy who don't drink want to go take a dab when we are off and suddenly we can't talk about it at work.  

  • dignition FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    Shout-out to My Favorite Murder! Georgia and Karen are amazing.

  • janas FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    This is pretty personal but I've always found it interesting so I thought I'd share it. I'm asexual and I've never had a sex dream but I've had something similar where I just dream about me masturbating and then I wake up horny. It's like a sex dream but it doesn't involve other people.

  • tanyelle FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    I quit smoking in septemer and let me tell you its one of the hardest things i've ever done. My stress dreams are now dreams about cigarette's though they started out as stressing out because I wanted a cigarette and have morphed into having a cigarette and then having major guilt that I undid everything. Its a super expensive habit, all your stuff smells bad, and worst of all I would hide it from my family (even though who am I kidding, that shit stink's there's no way they didn't know). To this person, you might as well tell your parents because they've probably already figured it out and are just waiting on you to be honest with them.

  • Tinks13 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    I think the feeling you were explaining Barb, is summed up best by a word from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.


    sonder

    n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

  • FuseUnison FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    Sorry...I tried...I really did, but all I get from this series is watching people conduct an experiment in how conceded they can be...  =(

    Done...

  • kaikaips3 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    Bethany is always such a lovely addition to the show

  • astrand9000 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    My current longest snap streak is 671 get on my level.

  • lorisasaki FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold LoriSasaki

    3 days ago

    I used to fall asleep listening to RT Podcasts. I had a dream about Gus. I think he was a sniper...

  • mitzt FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Boop!

    3 days ago

    I don't know why Burnie would be offended (even if it's only sort of facetiously offended) that people would look for him at Cheesecake Factory. The days of "Fat Burnie" are long past meanwhile that place has some of the best food from any sit-down chain restaurant. I only go there maybe once per year but now I'm hungry for a 1000 Calorie meal.


    Edit: I really should have listened another 2 minutes to hear that Burnie really likes Cheesecake Factory. Everyone just needs to embrace the practice of consuming half of an average person's Calorie intake for a day in the time frame of 1-2 hours every once in a while.


    Edit 2: Bill Nye's Netflix show has a really good episode (I think it's episode 8) featuring a lady from Biggest Loser as one of the panelists in their discussion about weight loss and the motivation/self-control that is required for her to maintain her weight as well as input from a more scientific perspective about how the human body tends towards an equilibrium that more accurately reflects what is "healthy" for any particular body. It's a really interesting field to delve into where health and body image are concerned considering how poorly dieting and exercise science is reported by traditional media.

  • FlamingIceGiant FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    One big difference between smoking and drinking is that smoking affects everybody around you. People who don't want to smoke are pretty much forced to.

    • Hellotardis FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Russell Richardson

      1 day ago

      I hate to play devils advocate, and maybe I misunderstood you so please bear with me. But there are bars that allow smoking, and bars that don't allow smoking. So people who don't want to smoke can entirely avoid any smoke at all by going to a non smoking place. If a non smoker goes to a place where smoking is allowed, then they should expect to be in a smokey environment.


      There doesn't seem to be any "forced" since they have to decide to go to a place where smoking will happen, when They could just as well go to a place that doesn't allow smoking. It might mean you will miss out on hanging out with some friends, but that's the choice you have to make for your health right?


      A non smoker should never go to a smokers environment and expect the smokers to stop smoking. They've made a decision too. That descision is to go to a place where they can smoke without scrutiny. Both sides deserve an option, and should be respected. 


      UNLESS you're talking about when someone starts smoking around you where you had no idea that would take place, who shows no regard for the people near him/her. That's legit not cool of the smoker, who should be mindful of other people and their preference. 


      But both can exist without treading on one another. That's what I believe at least.

    • FlamingIceGiant FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 day ago

      @Hellotardis I was talking about that last part where people start smoking around you. And to a lesser extent when you need to walk by a building with people smoking outside (I usually try to hold my breath and walk faster).

    • Hellotardis FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Russell Richardson

      1 day ago

      Ah yeah. No argument there. 

  • PhantomAC FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Not Otaku, Just Nerd

    3 days ago

    You look great this episode!  cocktail

    Wow Burnie,.. Diabolical much?  flushed

    Venting is human nature,.. but you should stand by the words that comes out of your mouth. If you're 'caught',.. be a human,.. not a snake.  muscle

    Good call, Family ties are pretty intense,.. this is why broken homes always fail when their children have found a family on their own accord. As in: don't call me your child when I've found my own family 'cause you gave up on me as a tax write-off! fu

    Wonderful show as always (open)!

    Once again you've stared down the stigma of AO being a 'Sex Show'.

    Keep up the good work!

    Cheers! beers

  • TKAD777 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    I want to say the shot is called "The Caribou" because of the drink called the "Caribou Lou" which is 151, Malibu, and Pineapple juice.

  • nadroj-the-great FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    Mariel is a Murderino. I didn't think I could love her more, and yet here we are

  • Jicori FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    I just want to say I, too, admit that I have had dreams about various RT folks, but in the capacity of being coworkers. I think it's because the climate of where I work is similar to RT, and I have had occasional thoughts when watching RT productions that I would love to be a writer or editor there. I guess that makes working at RT a literal "dream job" for me. ;-)

  • stmb1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Princess

    4 days ago

    My god, I want to go to RTX simply to meet Mariel. She makes my heart flutter  heart_eyes

    • Mariel FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 days ago

       relaxed

  • OrdinaryPerson

    4 days ago

    I love Always Open! 

  • CatSea FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Keyblade Apprentice

    4 days ago

    I have an addictive personality so I know I can never try smoking or drugs because I'm afraid I'd never get away from it. My addiction is sugar. I'm also a stress eater and since I became disabled two years ago I've gained over 50lbs. My grandmother was just diagnosed with lung cancer last week because she was a smoker so it's a greater deterrent for me to not smoke, but also pushing me even more towards eating junk food. 

    • MuffinMaam FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Pancake

      4 days ago

      I have a pretty bad sugar addiction too and it's been so hard to kick. I've been weeding sugar out of my daily diet slowly (cutting soda out and slowly any sugary drink) and it's helped A LOT. If you keep pushing yourself to drink more water or even less sugary drinks maybe it'll help push more sugar out of your diet. There's plenty of options out there that are sugar free, it just sucks really bad some days.

  • m_vivan FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    I did that same school project in Canada as Barbara although mine was about throat cancer as a side effect of smoking. Definitely a scarring experience.

  • PrincessWashington FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold KJ

    4 days ago

    Anyone know if it's possible to download Audio on Android phone? I can't seem to figure it out.

    • Licourtrix FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 days ago

      Chrome browser? Scroll down past the comments, it will be a link like "Download Audio (MP3)"  press down and hold on it, select "download link" from the menu that pops up. 

    • Scuzz83 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 days ago

      I have most of the RT brand podcasts on my Andriod phone through Castbox app. iHeart radio is a good one as well.

  • Kinger1074 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    Malibu, and pineapple is from a rapper and record label owner Tech N9ne. In his songs he talks about a drink called Caribou Lou. Its normally made in a gallong jug and its half a bottle of 151 rum, 1 cup of Malibu Rum and then filled the rest with pineapple juice. Its very good and very dangerous. I assume thats what the drink is named after.

    • VictorKruger FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Headhunter

      4 days ago

      Can confirm will get you drunk before you realize it.

  • 242proMorgan FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Oliver Morgan

    4 days ago

    I've been in Barbara's situation where people talk shit behind your back and persoanlly I feel it's better to confront them as 1 you make them feel like shit, 2 due to (1) they may stop doing it to others and 3 you kind of get closure. This is me personally if you do go through something like this it's up to you what you do.

  • catzalive FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    I had a dream that basically outlined the plotlines, level design, user interface, game mechanics, character progression, and aesthetic of an original JRPG I made in my head. I woke up with a headache, and still get headaches trying to recall it because it was so complex.

  • fergotronic FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    Barbara was in one of my dreams. It was me, her and Clarke Kent from Smallville. We were trapped in a house like resident evil 7, Barbara found a circular saw and attacked me and Clarke, as Babs came towards me with the saw, Clarke booked it, then I woke up. 

  • jesshettie FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Jesshettie

    4 days ago

    The shot out totally is a normal full drink...

  • Stewart_Who FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    The Coven. That was the name of my uni group's facebook chat. Believe it or not, also involved witches.

  • DrumBoxyThng FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    That face at 30:10 when Burnie realizes he shouldn't joke about wanting to fuck Barb.

  • DrumBoxyThng FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    I'm like Barbara, I cry for movies and tv but not really for real life. It's weird, and it's made me worried that I'm a robot.

    • Hellotardis FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Russell Richardson

      1 day ago

      I am so sorry, I got off on a RANT Here.


      Yeah, I 100% know this feeling. It's like Tv or movies become a contained release valve for real life feelings. You're alone & you allow yourself to emote openly to yourself. But I think it's more intense for that type of person because we start feeling, or start crying, and then wether or not we know it, we're letting everything out that's been sitting there festering.


      I might be speaking for myself, I know. I've just thought exactly what you've said before, & then analyzed what was happening actively. I came to the conclusion that I had plenty of real, serious business feelings that I'd kept partitioned in regular life. Then all it took was seeing a moderately believable sad situation or story on tv, or in a movie, or a book. 

      Suddenly your brain says (weak example) "aww damnit, that puppy is cold and alone, and waiting in one spot for his human to just come back. Looking on loyal, loving and innocent......wondering why it's human won't come back. The puppy can't understand that his human died on that spot, he just wants him back" 


      And for a short time you remember that you can feel. That's the kinda shit that destroys me.....But Then it goes back in the vault for another month:) P.S. Sorry TMI, I have been drinking...

  • Coolwhip555 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold James

    4 days ago

    Ugggh, Mariel is sooo freaking pretty.  heart_eyes

  • bazomatic FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    pretty sure the shot name is a reference to that Tech N9ne song Caribou Lou

    • hanaballectr FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 days ago

      Just missing the 151 rum 

    • Kinger1074 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 days ago

      "half a bottle of 151 rum off in the jug, one cup of Malibou Rum baby thats whats up, then you fill the rest of the jug with pineapple juice and its crackin the only defect is waking up like happened"

  • AeronWarcliffe FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    Burnie tells that story about the cheesecake factory so often. haha. I don't mind, I just find it funny how often it has come up since the car was wrapped

  • UltimateZanburr FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    dipping is pretty big in central PA

    • zzweber FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 days ago

      also eastern PA

  • Wooden_Bear FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    If i was invisible for the day, i would beat a mime to death. 

    • PhantomAC FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Not Otaku, Just Nerd

      3 days ago

      "The applause would be thunderous!"

  • Sockbum FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    Barbara your look was on fucking point today. That dress with that hair is excellent.

  • Jacecam32 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Jacecam

    4 days ago

    My new years resolution is almost always the same. Feel better about myself by this time next year. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. This year I added that I have to write one chapter of my story a month. 5 months in and I'm on track (mostly)

  • Arkatox FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    Now that I think about it, how is this only the first time Burnie's been on the show? He's a great fit with lots of stories, has great chemistry with Barbara (and the other guests), and is just one of the best natural talkers at Rooster Teeth. :)

  • CriminalHero FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    my grandmother was an avid smoker for most of her life. (not dead though, but in a retirement center so she can't smoke) she lived in an apartment for about five years that even though there were signs at every entrance prohibiting smoking, the rooms and hallways smelled so bad from the cigarettes that my brother and I sometimes refused to enter the building. While moving her furniture out of her apartment we found smoke stains on the walls, containers of tobacco and used cigarettes everywhere, and ash marks on furniture that could have been sold for a nice price, but the ever present smell and stains around them made them worthless. I believe that smoking is one of the worst things you can do to your body, wallet, and family. 

  • RadioHeads FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    wanted to add my two cents to the smoking point: as an 18 year old whos smoked for about a year and a half (finally switching to nicotine replacement fully), my parents were both incredibly helpful and supportive during the time i was still smoking multiple daily. My mom especially wanted to try and help me out in any way possible. In reality, your parents are probably old enough to have smoked a little at some point, and have experience dealing with it. Asking for help is great, but both of my parents were in general okay with me keeping the habit, as long as I payed for it.

  • srvvlhm FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold David Kane

    4 days ago

    Barbara, once again you look amazing. Unfortunately we there was not a lot of puns from you. I always look forward to hearing them. And it was nice to see Burnie too.

    • Guy... FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 days ago

      Always Open is usually less pun-heavy than the rt podcast... and anyway she makes puns when it's natural for her, it can't be forced :)

      But she did have "Do you ever streak in your streak?" at 31:49-32:15.

      Anyway if you like her puns you can check out my spreadsheet.

  • profitoffear FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    Holy shit Burnie and Texas look like brothers

  • banp101 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    For the chewing tobacco, every man in my family dips. Almost all of the guys I went to high school with would dip. I have grown up around a lot of people that chew tobacco. My dad chews the Skoal Burnie mentions. It's gross!

  • fullofwish FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold T

    4 days ago

    I think equating addictive substances like cigarettes and alcohol comes down to specific considerations and responsibilities. We commonly hear disclaimers about drinking and driving of course, responsible alcohol use, etc. Because yeah, don't be a selfish knob and endanger other people with your choice to drink. Don't drink if you become an angry/violent drunk. The basics. It's not just about addiction and what it can do to your own body, but how it can negatively impact others around you. Even then, so much focus is placed on personal liberty as far as "if you want to potentially struggle with a debilitating addiction for the rest of your life, it's advised against, but it's your right" (because, hell, let's be real, the reason substances that can lead to debilitating addiction are legalized is because someone in power makes money off it); Smoking is somewhat different, since sure, you can give yourself a great probability of any number of cancers, but it's also nearly impossible to do it in a socially considerate and responsible way where no one else is subjected to your second hand smoke. 


    My parents and other adult relatives smoked around me constantly (indoors, in cars) from when I was an infant to when I was old enough to realize the cause and effect between being around them and having terrible breathing problems and could choose to go somewhere else by myself (so like around 10 or so), I pretty much ended up sitting outside by myself wheezing until I recovered enough to go back to the smoke cloud, and eventually stopped going to holiday family events (only now that I've been an adult for a while do I think back on how fucked up it was that I was alone during those times from 10 on, because adults couldn't be bothered not to smoke indoors). I was diagnosed with asthma at 2 years old but somehow the selfishness of addiction didn't leave room for any consideration from family to, you know, make sure a little kid could breathe. They thought cracking a window or telling me to go outside for a bit was sufficient. Even now I avoid going downtown or to other busy areas because of all the smokers just loitering around bus stops or outside the doors of businesses. It's really that kind of mindless and accepted inconsideration that bothers me. There are clear signs up that forbid smoking inside bus shelters or within a certain distance from doors, but they're just like, fuck that. For them, it sucks if they have to be outside without fulfilling their nicotine itch in whatever way is most convenient for them. For me, I avoid going to family gatherings or for a walk down the sidewalk so that I don't have an attack and a subsequent week after of breathing problems. Even the smell of it on someone's clothes makes me cough. So yeah, I've definitely been effected more negatively by cigarettes than alcohol, myself, just it's never really looked at as anything but "an unhealthy choice" for the smoker. That passive attitude gets to me, nothing of what that unhealthy choice passes along to bystanders that don't get to opt out and be free of their choice's side effects.


    TL;DR


    Choose to drink or smoke but only if you're doing so in a way where you're not going to inflict negative consequences on others that don't get to choose.

    • mitzt FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Boop!

      3 days ago

      I think what a lot of people forget when it comes to smoking is the non-cancer illnesses that come with it. The last time I looked into it, the chances of getting lung cancer for smokers was something like 1 in 3 compared to something closer to 1 in 100 for non-smokers, meanwhile illnesses like emphyzema/COPD are much more common for both smokers and people exposed to second-hand smoke (something like half of smokers and 1/5 of people exposed to second-hand smoke) while still being a significant detriment to quality of life. It's a weird situation where nicotine is a stimulant which can be useful to people like caffeine is, but the most common way for people to consume it in the past has had the worst side-effects.

  • Aideyn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    Super... judgmental section in the middle here... Nothing wrong with having tattoos or not being straight. Also... "Your parents don't deserve you going into porn." Like, porn isn't for a lot of people, but it feels like those comments were just made because of preconceived notions about the worth/respect owed to sex workers/porn stars.  Like, discuss the issues with the porn industry all you'd like, because there are heaps of them, but the way it was phrased in this episode felt like it was aimed at the people rather than the industry.


    It's really frustrating that people will talk about how they watch porn but then at the same time they'll shit on people who work in that industry. Masturbating with one hand and pointing in judgement with the other, ya know. 

    • fullofwish FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold T

      4 days ago

      Agree completely. I know most of those comments made were offhanded (because, like you mentioned, the preconceived notions are just so embedded with people on an insidious level, like most fucked up things with society) whether they themselves tout them, they're easily at hand and almost always brought up in a callous or at least humorously dismissive way with these topics. Do they actually think that there's anything wrong with "progressive" or non-puritanical ideas? Like do they think being not-straight, tattoo-having, or doing porn makes you a disappointment to your parents? Less worthy or respectable? Probably not, but people mirror the norm and those are the messages that are constantly regurgitated without any particular pause to analyze them, they're just accepted as how things are. 


      "Old people are homophobic (racist, puritans, etc), that's just how they were raised and they won't change, and they're the ones who set the status quo so lol what can you do, just try not to disappoint them too much with existing as a non-conforming person lol shrug emoji." I feel like that's the underlying thought of this sort of thing, and not generally seen as perpetuating the negative conceptions that they themselves don't necessarily want to carry forward. 

  • bspringer1997 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 days ago

    I made a shot called the breath mint.

    Equal parts:

    Tequila

    Creme de Menthe

    Peppermint Schnapps

  • Hatguy91 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Hatguy91

    4 days ago

    A note to B.G.


    When I was in college I started smoking cigarettes, and I was always worried my parents would find out, especially my mom (my dad had smoked when he was in college). Most of the time it wasn't an issue since I was a three hour drive away from my parents, but when I was home for a weekend or breaks, I was always worried about it. I would make a point of running errands or going for long walks so I could smoke and I would stay up until I was sure everyone was asleep and sneak outside for a smoke at night. Finally one day, I miscalculated, and after having my nightly smoke, my mom was waiting at the front door. She wasn't out to catch me, she had just come down to give me a hug goodnight. I'd been outside for a while so she asked if I was ok. I knew the jig was up, so I owned up to it and said I wished she hadn't found out that I smoked. She had known. Turns out I was not as sneaky as I thought. She asked how much I smoked, I told her (around 5 cigs a day), and she just said ok, gave me a kiss on the cheek and wished me goodnight.


    I won't presume to know your family, so I won't say that your mom will react like mine. What I will say, is that as someone's child, we are always worried that if our parents learn our secrets, they will be heartbroken or distraught and that our relationship with them will never recover. It is an almost universal psychological hang up, an effort of our minds to ready us should the worst happen. But the worst rarely happens. Will your mom be upset? Probably. Will she wail and gnash her teeth and forbid you from leaving the house, lest you catch a whiff of tobacco on the wind? Doubtful.


    I believe the most important thing, however, is that you should not beat yourself up too much, and let your smoking be something that really hurts your self-esteem. I'm not by any means saying smoking is good, but like Burnie said in the show, drinking is bad for you and plenty of people drink, because it feels good. If you feel that the enjoyment you get from smoking is greater than the anxiety it causes, you shouldn't feel guilty. If, on the other hand, the reverse is true, I'd recommend trying to quit, and telling your parents could help with that. Having someone there to help you quit makes a big difference, and coming to your parents asking for help will make the conversation easier. 


    In the spirit of full disclosure, I should say that I have not managed to kick the habit. I have switched to an e-cig, and while the jury is still out on whether e-cigs are better or worse than regular cigarettes, that's not what this is about. In addition to being open, I mention it because for me, I became self-conscious about smelling like smoke, but had failed several times at quitting using traditional methods (mints, patches, cold turkey, etc.). While I'm not thrilled about the fact I still smoke, getting rid of the smell has gotten me to a place where I'm at least comfortable with where things stand, and that's what I would urge you to shoot for.


    I know this has been a long post, but I hope it at least helps a little. Whatever you decide, remember that the worst rarely happens and there are very few things in life that cannot ever be recovered from.


    Good luck.